What goes around comes around

One thing for sure, what goes around comes around. Tulisan gue yg ini ada hubungannya ama tulisan terakhir gue. Gue nyampe disatu titik dimana gue pengen jadi pacar seseorang, pengen ngerasain punya label lagi dalam berhubungan. Dan Dee(cowo yang deket ama gue), dia malah pengen hubungan jalanin aja. Funny huh? That's why i gave this title what goes around, comes around. Always darl, always. Gue selalu bilang jalanin aja ama beberapa co terakhir yang deket ama gue. Dan sekarang gue digituin sama cowo yang pengen gue jadiin pacar. It hurts dude, like seriously. But ya, you will never know how it feels before you feel it by yourself. And now i'm feeling it, and it sucks you know. Sebenernya gue selalu ga setuju ama gagasan terburu-buru, apalagi gue baru kenal ama dee 2 minggu ini. Tapi entahlah, dia beda. Atau mungkin ini cuma nafsu gue aja yang keburu-buru pengen punya label? Ama dia, gue gabisa ngontrol, gue lebih terkekang buat jadi diri gue sendiri. Gue pengen keliatan perfect, gue overthinking. Mungkin karena gue ngerasa kalo he's out of my league. Ah i don't know but when it comes to him, i think i'm never good enough. walau ada beberapa hal yang ada di diri dee yang gabisa gue terima, yang biasanya kalo faktor itu muncul disalah satu cowo yang deket ama gue, gue bakal leave him immediately. But he's just different. It's like he has almost everything that i want in someone. Jadi gue kaya ga ngeliat kekurangan dia. Gue tutup semua sama hal-hal yang gue adore dari dia. Gue gabisa santai ama dia kaya yg biasa gue lakuin ama cowo-cowo sebelum dia dan sekali lagi, that sucks. Gue jadi kepikiran ttg banyak hal, yang don't even exist. Worry too much, too scared, insecure, and i hate it man, i hate it! But i just can't make it stop. It's like i'm losing all control to control my mind. Dan itu menghasilkan suatu perasaan yang ga gue suka banget. Perasaan galau, ga enak ngapa2in, pengennya mellow2an terus, nyampah. guentau banget apa yang dia rasain, karena gue sering ada diposisi dia. Dia bawa gue kerumahnya, makes me feel like i'm special. Posting my pictures to the social media. But he don't wanna label it. Dan itu bikin gue mikir dengan sangat ke masa dimana gue selalu ga mau labeling my relationship. It's not because i really want to have a "jalanin aja" kind of relationship. The truth is, because i'm not sure yet about that guy, or simply because i don't wanna be alone i wanna have someone who can company me but i also don't wanna commit myself to him. My feeling isn't that big to give him a title "my boyfriend". Maybe that's what he feels about me. Ah god, knowing all of this things is frusterated me. What goes around comes around. What goes around comes around. It will kill me slowly. It's like some of my ex not lover but more than friend comes to me and say this thing to my face "karma does exist, bitch!".